Love Always - Coach J
There will be times in your life where you will grow by facing conflict and working towards resolve. When you have conflict in your life or organization the first thing you must do is confront the issue. Not the people, but the issue. What are the driving factors? Where are the hard lines drawn? Avoiding the issue is the same as feeding it. In positions of leadership (and we all lead on some level) you can take action to find resolve, but first you must be aware of the conflict and muster the courage to confront it in a healthy manner.
Love Always - Coach J
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There is so much to say about the words we choose to use. There is life and death in the tongue. One tragic slip in the use of this powerful tool is the person that throws words around without assessing any value to them. What I mean by this is the person that does not keep their word. The person that tells you they will do something and then does not follow through. The credibility you lose with others will multiply rapidly. The unseen damage is the momentum you steal form yourself. You may think you are fooling others when in fact you are burying yourself. Not standing by what you profess will align you against yourself and a house divided cannot stand. If things are feeling out of balance or control in your life check how closely your actions are to the words you speak. Keeping your word is a basic, yet powerful tool. Love Always - Coach J I was taking a self assessment survey yesterday on Authentic Happiness.com and one of the questions was if I always give others credit for their work or have I taken credit for others work. In every business I believe we will sight sources of information to educate others and may not always sight the source but I believe it is implied that we did not execute the research when statistics are quoted. However when it comes to working with someone, or being acknowledged on a group effort I do feel highly compelled to point out a specific contribution to an individual if I feel I am getting recognized for it. I do not like the feeling of going unacknowledged for my contributions even though I say I do not do what I do for acknowledgement - I do it for the end result. Then what is this feeling of wanting to be recognized and why is it so important for me to recognize others? I simply want my efforts to be acknowledged, not even rewarded, simple acknowledgement. With that in mind I believe the most basic human thing I can do for another is to recognize their work, effort and contribution and make sure they hear that I appreciate their contribution. Love Always - Coach J I once had to approach a colleague regarding how they interacted with their peers. The issues was he was humiliating others through comments, yet an interesting thing happened when I brought this to his attention. He said - "I don't yell at anybody, I think you are mistaken." He was correct, he didn't yell, scream or even raise his voice. What he did do was make quick, sly, and sarcastic comments that undermined peoples beliefs or work. Neuroscience has shown cruel words make the same parts of the brain react that physical pain action do. So it is clear - words really do hurt. And humiliating publicly or even in private is not a way to lead or be a great teammate. Fortunately for us my colleague was willing to listen, self examine and adjust. And became a team member we all could accept and respect personally as much as we did professionally. Love Always - Coach J Do you feel pressed for time? Ever felt like you needed that report, update, or spreadsheet yesterday and you become impatient? To gauge performance look at the historical delivery of the expectation you have. See if there is something hindering the process that can be corrected. If it is simply that you are a race car in a sea of box cars you either need to pace yourself to their speed or find a new track. When you feel the emotion of impatience check the root factors and make the right mental shift. It is not only for your health but for your team as well. Love Always - Coach J Is there an area of your life or business you spend time and effort on inspecting that you would be better served by handing it off to someone else? Is there an activity that you have handed off yet you still check in on every aspect of it? How effective is your time and how does the person that is being managed perform? Do they wait for you input to make decisions? Well then, you never let go of the task! Know the parameters of the task so if you need to go back and fine tune or check the process you are knowledgeable about its inner workings, however leave the day to day operation in the hands of the person you entrusted. They may just pleasantly surprise you with what they can do if you let them lead. Love Always - Coach J Imagine the sound of a band that is comprised of all snare drums. It can be fun for a bit but the variety will eventually come to an end when it comes to melody. How about a band of all tubas? A marching band armed only with tambourines? The point here is we all have strengths, talents and our own voice. By connecting with different "instruments" you can increase the harmonics and melodies of your life. Fine tune your sound and "pipe up". Love Always - Coach J At times there are unforeseen blind spots, or road blocks that redirect our current. Some we need to over come, others need to be knocked down while others will force us to take an alternate route. Remaining in the flow and being fluid will suit us well. Bless the flexible for they will never be bent out of shape. When hit with you perceive as an obstacle look to flow with grace and elegance. Love Always - Coach J |
J.N. ScaddenI'd love to hear what makes your day better and share it with the world. Archives
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